Book. "Akari, Meri Ra" read online

Akari, Meri Ra

Esraa Nuriko

Story about:
magic, friendship, pharaohs


6 15 211

#7 in Supernaturals
#19 in Short stories

Complete 25 pages

Publication: 08.10.2019 — 11.10.2019
Contests: Once Upon a Time

Description of book "Akari, Meri Ra"

A girl wakes up in an unknown magical place, then she starts watching and living in strange scenes like a transparent ghost in them. Things turn into an entangled supernatural story involving more characters. That girl is amnesiac, so what is the link between her and the scenes she's forced to watch and be a part of? There are two witches fighting over something, what does it have to do with that amnesiac girl?

Comments on book:

Total number of threads: 4

Alicia Harrison 12.10.2019, 22:15:04

not bad, but here are some things to improve

The last comment in the thread:

Esraa Nuriko 12.10.2019, 22:28:31

thanks, but what are they?

Celeste I. 12.10.2019, 10:01:01

I liked the premise behind this, and the mystery of what was going on was intriguing and suspenseful, as I didn't know what would happen. It was an unpredictable and unusual story, that's for sure, I had no idea which direction it was going.

I also liked the ambiguity, as I didn't know who the real antagonist was or their motivations. And the story is complete, and the twist, I didn't see coming, as well as the friendship.

I understand why you didn't divide the paragraphs (comment below), but all the chapters aside from the last, I struggled to read, sorry.

However, I found the story to be all over the place and confusing to follow, with the plot elements all at once. I also didn't like how the main character was mostly passive until the end. The characters aren't dull, though, and are surprisingly fleshed out for a short story.

Well done, good entry, good luck on the contest~

This thread has 7 Comments. Show

The last comment in the thread:

Esraa Nuriko 12.10.2019, 22:13:29

Celeste I., Not at all. I was in a haste to finish it and I swear most of the story was written by itself! xD I found myself writing it, I mean it used my hands and wrote or typed it. I was waiting eagerly to know how it was going to end. xDD Sometimes I don't get some plots too, so I ask uncle Google or other people, if it's an anime. I'm glad it all made sense now. Thanks for the comment ^^.

Roza Csergo 08.10.2019, 21:34:37

Hello Esraa, it is nice to read your entry. Sounds interesting.
May I suggest dividing these one huge paragraphs into several smaller ones?
Would make an easier read.
I added your story to my library and I'm looking forward to your updates.
Good luck in the competition.

This thread has 4 Comments. Show

The last comment in the thread:

Esraa Nuriko 08.10.2019, 23:15:14

Roza Csergo, Thank you so much.

Ruechari 08.10.2019, 16:21:44

Don't forget to add your Genres and make sure one of them is listed as Short Story so we can accept your submission.

The last comment in the thread:

Esraa Nuriko 08.10.2019, 19:38:35

Thank you for the warning. I edited it now. ^^

Books language: