Story about:action, time travel
#5 in Science fiction#7 in Action & Adventures
17.08.2019 — ...
Total number of threads: 8
The last comment in the thread:
Thanks for finding my story good :)
is it a script of some piece?
Angel Lederhouse, My writing style is like a script. I am still learning to write better but I make sure I write something that is easy to read. Hope you enjoy my story. Thanks
interesting kind of storytelling
Kim Miller, My story is not skillfully written compared to other litnet writers here, but hopefully I make up for it with good storytelling :)
Well, this is an interesting premise. It's also interesting that the dialogue and narrations are in the form of a play and not a novel(?) The sci-fi technology does sound fascinating, minus all the technobabble of course. The story, while unpredictable so far, and I don't know where it's going, seems to be going all over the place with its pacing. The characters and story have some time to change, develop, and be okay (Especially Joanne, cause I want to know more about her, James because he's underutilized, and Joshua, because I can't stand him as a character). But man, the exposition and dialogue is real clunky and could use some work in that department.
I don't know where this will go, and why the characters are doing what they're doing. And by that, I mean, the ones that don't have their backstories explained through exposition and then shown in a flashback immediately after that. What's up with that? I know it furthers the story, but the exposition is not needed when you show it in a flashback later on).
And will we get an idea on who this disembodied voice is, what they want, and why the main characters go along with what she says immediately? Just wondering.
This thread has 4 Comments.
Ryo Francis, You're welcome; hopefully the criticism wasn't hurtful and could be beneficial.
Ah, that does explain it. I had a strange feeling that was the case considering some of the lines 'We cut to,' lack of dialogue tags, and the present tense. This has been an interesting read so far, so no need to worry about that.
Also a fact, the first story I wrote, also had a screenplay format, I thought it was atrocious, but that's just me.
I don't know if Litnet is okay with that format or not, and that'll be a lot to re-edit and work on regardless.
I didn't know this is your first time writing; hope you're enjoying writing so far. Also, it's good to recognize if your story has flaws (and not ignore criticism, as long as it's not destructive criticism) and improve on them for the future.
Nice story ?
and what about the cover?
This thread has 3 Comments.
Ryo Francis, I hope so:)
interesting idea, keep it up
Ryo Francis, hope it will remain original
Hi. Would you please consider follow for a follow? I'd love to connect with you.
Roza Csergo, Ok thanks
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