Book. "Devata of the Silver Lance Book 1: Wanderer" read online

Devata of the Silver Lance Book 1: Wanderer

AC Coldphoenix

Story about:
fantasy gods, action and adventure, martial arts

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Rating:
4
9 23 528

Ranking:
#1 in Epic fantasy
#2 in Action fantasy


Ongoing: 23 Oct 45 pages

Publication: 22.06.2019 — ...


Description of book "Devata of the Silver Lance Book 1: Wanderer"

A warrior who lost his memory of his past and living far away from his world. Now, a priestess in need of saving will summon the most powerful hero. A man who must discover his past to discover his true self and the power that was locked inside of him. A woman who must forget her past in order to accept what lies ahead of her future, beyond her village, her status, her bloodline, and her duty. Both will come together in crossroads of Aether. The land of the forgotten history, myths, legendary heroes, and of Gods - the never-ending battle between the Devas and Asuras. One group that preserves their world and the other seeks power to destroy it. They must unite and gather all the other warriors to make a final stand at the Tree of life and engage in an epic battle packed with Martial arts.

Comments on book:

Total number of threads: 7

Tom Angry 19.10.2019, 14:04:27

I'm here to read it

Celeste I. 17.10.2019, 10:20:04

Well, this was an interesting read.

I like the action scenes, and how you write them. The special powers are also pretty cool to watch in action too. However, I felt like the fight scene went on for too long. Not to mention, I had no clue who I was supposed to root for or who the main character was until the latest chapter came out. That part was probably on me, though.

I like the idea of the character's past and backstories, but I think it felt like it could've been executed better. The pacing is so slow, and the placements could have been put earlier or later. The exposition is laid on thick, there's a lot of them, even interrupting fight scenes at a crawl.

I hope we get more characterization on the main characters, too, at least. Though it'd be nice if the dialogue had more action tags to show how a character feels as opposed to telling us.

I do like that the story is unpredictable, and there can be potential to story and world-building in the future. The cliffhanger could lead to lead to stuff going on later down the line.

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Celeste I. 19.10.2019, 02:34:19

AC Coldphoenix, Oh... I'm sorry, with the talk about metal implemented in him, I assumed he was one :(
Goes to show how much I truly paid attention to your story. How can my review be any detailed and helpful for you if I didn't get specific details, right?

I understand I don't mind slow reading; it depends on the pacing and how slow it is for me. Easter eggs are an interesting idea, but I'm bad at spotting them, to be honest.

Goo Jim 15.10.2019, 17:00:37

I think you update too slowly

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The last comment in the thread:

AC Coldphoenix 15.10.2019, 17:42:44

I will do my best to make the best out of each chapter so that I can make it worth your wait. =) Same as you, I am also excited for the next chapters. My apologies for the delay and thank you again for your patience.

Jeffrey Nighty 30.09.2019, 21:03:05

who made this cover?

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The last comment in the thread:

AC Coldphoenix 01.10.2019, 15:43:09

Jeffrey Nighty, I really like that cover though, like its really tailor-made for my book, but oh well. Cant have it. Sad. thanks anyways for the unintentional heads up.

Roza Csergo 31.08.2019, 15:35:10

This story sounds very interesting.
Can't wait to see where you take the plot.
And the cover looks fantastic.
Added your story to my library and followed you.
Would you please consider following back?
I'd love to connect with you.

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AC Coldphoenix 03.09.2019, 16:05:17

Roza Csergo, Hi Roza Thank you always for the advice.

Lawrence Frost 01.09.2019, 19:42:40

fantastic cover, so eye-catching

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AC Coldphoenix 03.09.2019, 16:02:13

Nickolas Harbourt, Thank you. =)

dahj_the_bison 01.09.2019, 06:51:21

Your character descriptions are very, very thorough. A+. However, they can tend to drag on just a bit. I'm quite guilty of the same, and took it into my editing. I tried to break it up a bit with dialogue, or perhaps include it in an action segment. Instead of describing hat, boots, eyes, jewelry, hair, facial expression, scars, maybe try (hat and boot,) quote, flashes blue (eyes,) quote, action of (jewelry and hair) during movement, quote, (facial expression and scars). It just helps the flow a bit rather than a hard pause when introducing a new character in a wall-of-text of a paragraph.

I also really liked your action scene and weapons. Description carried on a bit here too, but the world you are building is clearly going to be vast, and I look forward to reading more. Liked and Followed.

PS. Cover is sick.

The last comment in the thread:

AC Coldphoenix 03.09.2019, 16:00:14

dahj_the_bison, Hi Dahj_the_bison. Thanks for the advice. The truth is I re-read the whole chapter dozen of times to make the sentences fluid. I agree with you I sometimes used information dumping. I am more of a teller than a shower. I will re-write the first chapter once I got through to chapters 3 or 4. Your comment and observation is deeply appreciated. Please comment on the next chapters and thanks for adding my story to your library. Thanks.

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