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The rest of the week at school was eerily quiet as far as the situation regarding Brynn and I. Even Jessica seemed subdued, but I felt like I just entered the eye of a hurricane and was being misled into a false sense of security before the storm moved on and all hell broke loose.
The students looked at me with either awe or pity but most of the looks were pity. I haven't checked Stephanie's page in a few days but I'm thinking most of the school is pegging Brynn and I as a tragedy.
I have to admit I was starting to wonder the same, as I had not heard from her since Monday. I sent a text message. Video gif. Left a message and then thought I should cool it as I felt I was coming across way too needy and no girl likes that.
"You look like hell," Tyler said, coming up to me and putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Foot hurts. In constant pain. Tylenol isn't really cutting it but I don't want to take anything stronger. So sleeping less..." I sigh.
"And Brynn hasn't called you," Tyler says what I won't.
I violently shove my books in my locker and slam it close.
"You sure she's worth all this trouble?" Tyler asks.
"All I know is what I feel and I'm not ready to let go, but she may just take that choice away from me."
Tyler now had the look. The same look I see over and over and over again in the hallways. I hate this! I hate that pitying look.
"I think I may just head home," I tell him.
"Yeah, man. Get some rest. I'd offer to hang out with you this weekend but..." He shrugs apologetically.
I shake my head. He's got plans, plans with our English Teacher. Well, at least one of us will have a good weekend. I had been looking forward to it but as the days drug on and no word from Brynn I didn't know what to think of her coming back on Sunday.
What I had wanted to do was try and get together, to see her, to spend some time before we have to deal with school. Oh, well.
"Have a good time," I say, before limping off in the other direction.
I hear my name being called. I turn around to see my Mom coming out of her office. Locking up the door. Most likely she wanted to head me off before I got to the bus pick up, probably had my schedule timed down to the minute.
I've been opting for the bus ride home as I'm just too tired to concentrate on hanging out for practices so Tyler's mom isn't taking me home, and I'd rather sit on the bus even though it takes me an extra 45 minutes to get home. Cowardly, I'm avoiding my Mom and her questions about my well-being. I just don't want to deal right now.
I stop and sigh, turn around and limp back in the other direction.
"I was hoping I wasn't too late," my mom tells me.
I try and smile at her but I know it's not working.
"Come on. Let's get you home," she says and I'm too tired to argue.
The silence is deafening in the car. I almost wish she'd play her 80's music just to have the noise. Hell, I'd even take her singing, and then I'm reminded of Brynn and our first date. My parent's duet and her laugh and just close my eyes and lean my head back on the headrest.
Some first date. Maybe I really didn't stand a chance. Maybe they are all right to think I'm a tragedy.
The car stops moving and so I know we are home. I open my eyes and get out. Letting myself in the door and just go up the stairs. I know she wants to talk. My mom doesn't handle not being in the know very well. Sometimes I think she became a teacher/principal just so she could keep an eye on me. It would probably have killed her to send me to school and not know what I was doing for eight hours of my day. I just don't have anything to say and I don't feel like talking out my feelings so she's just going to have to be okay with that.
I know she is to an extent, as she doesn't follow. There are no knocks on my door. The first couple of days she'd use lame excuses of snacks to keep my energy up or fuss about my room or laundry knowing I'm not taking care of them, now there is just silence.
I must have drifted off as I'm jolted awake by my phone vibrating my butt. It's still in my pocket and silenced from school. I roll to my side and pull it free.
"So, you've finally decided to resurface?"
It was Brynn but I couldn't even be excited that she was on the line. Didn't she have a clue what radio silence would do to someone like me? Didn't she care?
"Finn, don't be like that," she said, sadly.
"Like what, Brynn? Didn't know when you said good-bye on Monday you really meant it. Just thought it an end to our conversation."
"Really? Could have fooled me."
"What do you want from me, Finn? I'm dealing with a lot right now. Can't you cut me a little slack?"
"I did, Brynn. On Tuesday and then I texted you and nothing. On Wednesay. Left you a message and nothing. On Thursday sent you a cute miss you video clip still nothing. It's Friday, Brynn and it's..." I look at my watch, "nearly 10 o'clock at night." Man, I really was tired. "Sorry, if I was crowding you."
"You're not being very fair!" Byrnn said and I hear an edge in her voice. Seriously... she's going to be mad at me. Put me on the defensive. Uh-uh...I am captain of the debate team. I don't go down that easily.