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Love at First Tear

BOOK: Love at First Tear by author Esraa Nuriko or Esraa Mohammed

PARTICIPANTS: Atul Saini, Marilyn Lucero, Veronica Lawson 

BOOK DESCRIPTION:

Set in Egypt, a story about a group of childhood friends. Staying, for a couple of days, at her friend’s house, Sarah or Sarra finds herself entangled with an anonymous attacker. She resists him till the end. Little does she know how this incident will change the group’s life forever. In addition, a story of Radwa or Radwah, one of Sarah's friends, who discovers her new close female friend is actually a man. This man is her roommate on a college one week trip. He claims he has his reasons and needs to complete this trip as a girl and begs her not to tell anyone. He seems to like her, though he knows Radwa uses swear words as a self defence. They flow out of her mouth smoothly, whenever she is angry or upset. Yet, he falls for her as a soothing girl who is, often, foolishly lost in words.

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Atul Saini 

Monopoly in Arab version 😂, sorry but I had no idea that such a thing existed so yeah a thanx for that firstly, now coming to the story.

I don't know if anyone faced the same problem as me but in my app I am not getting the chapters as paragraph but instead it's showing all of it in one page, which makes conversation a bit confusing to me but still as much as I was able to make out properly I was able to understand how close Sally and Sarah are, in the next phase when we are given a glimpse of her attacker and the cat and mouse chase starts, I liked her quick thinking and her courage.

Things that I felt odd were mostly with the slight complexity which is in the chapters and her point of view with her childhood, as the protagonist of the story I feel that you should have given her a good silver lining for her upcoming troubles.

Now, according to me the best thing about it is its originality and overall it's a good read.

Esraa Mohammed 

What is a good silver lining? I'd like to know.

Yes, we've Arab version of Monopoly called "Bank Al Haz" or Luck Bank with Arab cities from many Arab countries. I love it ❤️

Sally and Sarah are childhood friends, but in the chapter, I published a few hours ago, you can know about Sally's real nature. She's one crazy jealous bitch! 😂

As the author, I love the part of Adam and Sarah. I'm starting to uncover parts of the story and Sarah's true colours are about to start 3:) . She's the helper, yet she's the demon summoned when her friends are in danger or if someone thinks of her as stupid like Sally did. 👀

Thanks for your comment 😁.

Atul Saini 

I believe that a silver lining is basically like a moment that gives you the feeling in ur heart that u will walk out of this in one piece with ur head held high.

Esraa Mohammed 

Well, as a child, she did. After that, she lived peacefully as a normal girl, basically, she'll show her real angry self. Have you read the latest chapter about Sally? If you have, what do you think happened to Sally at the end of the chapter? 😈 I'm having so much fun currently completing this story 😂✌🏼. Wait and see ;)

 

Atul Saini

Not yet, will read it soon 😅

Esraa Mohammed

Thanks 😁. I'm really eager to read all this group's members' stories, but currently, I hardly write mine ;-; 💔. I hope you'll forgive me and excuse me ;') 💔.

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Marilyn Lucero

Congratulations, Esraa Mohammed for writing a wonderful story that reveals the culture and beliefs of a country.

The story started with the introduction of Sara being tricked into coming to the house of her childhood friend Sally, who held a dark motive behind the invitation. Never expecting something bad to happen due to her willingness to rescue anyone in need, she ended out being stabbed to death by an attacker who later turned out to be someone whom she least expected to be the culprit.

The irony of it is that both of them fell into a trap wherein Adam thought his revenge was carried out on his target while Sara obliviously submitted herself to become a victim.

The scene of how those underworld people are treated in a home setting makes me shudder especially at the thought of surgeries and bleeding for transfusions being carried out in a place where I presume to be lacking on medical equipment.

Nevertheless, the story ends up finding love in each other in a most inconvenient situation.

The hidden motive of revenge was then revealed wherein jealousy was the bottom line.

As for my suggestions for improvement, it would be the division of each chapter into separate thoughts and paragraphs.

Second is some redundancies in chapter 10.

The last is what almost all writers commit including ME as the TOP in the list, the grammatical errors which we could always improve through editing.

PS.

I want to let you know, I'm looking forward to the next chapters!

Esraa Mohammed 

I'm sorry for the grammatical errors. I swear I edited and re-edited these chapters, still I missed some mistakes. That annoys me, don't worry, I like my works clean from any mistakes especially when I love grammar ❤️.

About the "it was the first time" part, I wanted to make clear how her firsts made her crazy. Like when she first tasted apples that were out of her reach due to poverty. Like when she was praised as a "radar" after knowing there lied a danger in that street, hence saving herself and a passerby who was, in fact, one member of a gang with her father. In her opinion, the firsts made her crave experiencing much more than just apples or being praised. After that, I stopped writing "it was the first time" at the end of the chapter.

I try as hard to make the chapters not so short, not so long, but apparently I need 25000 characters in every chapter to show in the updated section, right? That made me not able to be clear about should I write more of less? That's why I understand your comment. Some chapters are divided into ideas, Adam's story and Sarah's and Sally's story. There in the upcoming chapter, I'll use Raneem's story too, it's short about what led Raneem to hate relationships.

Thanks for reading it, I'll try to update it today. 😁 I divided Ch 10 and the rest of the chapters to smaller paragraphs.

I liked to illustrate the effect of jealousy, wrath, and revenge. How Sally made herself a carbon copy of Sarah and unfortunately this happens in the real world. People who hate themselves and believe to be only a shadow not a real person are scary! Even if you're nice to them. I had similar experiences, but with some differences of course. I know how it's like to be hated and manipulated by someone who hates you, although you've never hurt them, jealousy is the unjustifiable reason. I felt bad or they made me feel bad and it's bad when they're seen as victims due to some life circumstances. I'm their "sandbag" to punch to relieve their anger, stress, and frustration of this world on, maybe. So, yeah they, after wronging and hurting me, deserve my current treatment towards them.

Sorry, I went off-topic, but I just liked to tell you some background information about the story 😂. I wanted also to show how revenge and wrath are blinding. How Adam never recognized his lover whom he put himself in a bad situation with Sally for.

The operation part is scary. I've seen many scenes of similar operations done at home in series and movies. And there's also the part where medical students buying a corpse. Many creepy things happen in this world. My friend is a doctor to become, her brother told her he'd not stay in the house if she brought in a corpse 😂💔. I actually went to her house to see the real bones she had for studying. XD I'll try going to the morgue in her university if outsiders, or people from other universities, are allowed in her university. Usually, I looove writing crime novels, but I need medical books to study the human body ;~;. Wish me luck please. I'm looking forward to be a little freer to read your stories. I just need time to read Litnet's great authors' works 😁😁❤️❤️. Much love for you guys.



Litnet Authors

Edited: 21.11.2019

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