"If you feel bad emotions, you can change self to good mood, but now it will remember for you your unsuccesful past time. I don`t know, how, but it is off"... - I imagined self better than somebody in my dreams.
Jack Waiton told my yesterday: "- You cycled by selfish and motionless. It`s so curiosity, when you awake at the midday and asleap at the eleven hour of evening almost every day, mind, how and why you lost useful five hours of your clear life, and who was in fault. What you feel after that? You are strange, and it happened with you against you, because you didn`t unshame actions, and creating some new way, you passed over any almost mistaked real opportunities. You forget self and kept on false thoughts. Just it happens without my desires, it is and it not dissapear. Anywho set me up, I resisted and argued (weakly) my truth and innocence. All remained in the same position of minus. My friend, Elizabeth, saved me, saing the headmaster, what was real circumstance, who had illogical results. Now I found understand exit from the hard question - we could attack they, but we need many armours (information about the places arround place, blunted weapons and fateful courage for a while of defense)..."
I understood: I don't will get out of the problem before the decision happens. It put pressure on me with all absurdity, forced me to do unnecessary and untimely affairs, and without my consent and without my logical participation, it put pressure on me because other people had time to protect themselves and preferred to report neutral lifestyles. And I stayed, I was stopped, and without asking anything about my thoughts, they gave me unnecessary and false duties, after which I almost exhaustedly fell many times in idleness and regretted it. Only thanks to the help from Elizabeth Roide and the empathy of Jack Waiton, I found myself, and only then a week after the many sufferings from the illogicality of all the words and tasks given to me. And Patrick Earle - just invited by me to the hammock of mr. Victor World.