I Just Can't Say Goodbye

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The Confession

Jia kept her silence all the rest of the way until Anthon pulled in a beach resort. She was lost in her thoughts that she forgot to suggest where they were going supposedly. She only got back to her senses when Anthon held her chin few minutes after they parked.

"Daydreaming again?  I am just at your side!"

"Where are we?  Is my bestfriend here for us to pick up?" She stuttered as Anthon's statement stirred her emotion. She then pretended to look around.

They both walked silently as she was mesmerized again by the beauty of the place. They walked amidst giant trees and flower gardens in a beautifully - crafted landscape. The breeze was cold and it sent chills to her skin. As they walked farther,  the wide array of the beach laid down before them and soon they heard the waves splashing loudly at the shoreline. Across the horizon,  a golden moon floated gracefully  amidst the silver skies.

She then realized that coming here appeared to be a  date rather than her main intention to talk to both of them to clarify things out. Her heart raced again in a fast and sweet rythm.

Anthon reached out to hold her hand and lead her to an open cottage just a meter higher from the shoreline. The lights were dim, suggesting a romantic atmosphere. As she was about to ask again about his wife,  he gave her instead a long stare that sent chills to her spine.

"Juice or coffee? " he asked.

"Nothing. " The pounding of her heart removed all traces of her appetite.

Nevertheless,  Anthon picked up a phone and ordered two  tall cups of coffee. She remained silent until an attendant came in with a tray in her hand and greeted them warmly. However,  her gaze was fastened on the sea waters that glittered in silver sparks while tiny waves came racing towards the shore.

"Anything  else,  sir? " He shook his head.

"How about your wife? " The attendant insisted.

He then stood up and called her. 
"Wifey, do you want anything else?"

Startled,  she responded with a frown though her heart fluttered with a tickling sensation. Realizing that it was because of the attendant,  she waved a hand to dismiss her.

" Anyway,  ma'am,  I'm just a call away. " She said politely then disappeared from their sight rapidly.

After a long silence that gave Anthon the satisfaction of staring generously at her while stirring her coffee,  he initiated the discussion.

"Now, speak.." He said as he looked straight into her eyes to which she hurriedly look away. She then inwardly cursed herself for being so vulnerable. She was not here to establish a special tie with him but to clear out everything between them!

Looking at the two cups of coffee,  she finally spoke. "Anthon, where is Giselle?  It seemed that she's not coming over. Are you deceiving
me? "

"She won't be here...because I never know where  she is." He answered calmly.

"What? " She exclaimed in a confused look. "Are you two on a fight? "

" What are you talking about? I am bringing you here because I want us to talk. Seriously. "

" I demand an honest answer."  He paused for a while before  going ahead to touch a heavy subject he knew she was avoiding. "Where did you go after that night..?"

"I also want to talk to you to clear out everything."

"Then let's talk. Where did you go?  You must have known how many times I went to all of your family and friends to look for you." He narrated with lament in his voice.

He stood up,  pulled out his chair and placed it right before her,  his knees touching hers. Then he reached out his arms and held both of her shoulders,  guarding her from escaping. She remained silent with her head down,  unable to get the courage to speak.

"Jia,  I have known you as a Godly person but why did you run away after we did that sacred thing?Did I not make it clear enough that I wanted to take the responsibility?"

She finally responded with a derisive laugh. "Were you going to marry me and my bestfriend together? "

"I would never beg for a marriage composed of just paper and pen. A loveless marriage that would eventually send me to hell due to insecurities. " Her voice quivered as her tears began to fall.

"What are you talking about? " He gritted his molars while he repeated this question for the third time.

After a long silence again,  Jia broke into a stiffled sobs as she put all her courage to speak. After tonight, after she could say all those things that heaved her heart  once and for all,  she would be flying back to the waiting arms of Jim.

"You did not love me,  Anthon. You loved my bestfriend, instead. And I believe that your baby must be raised up by his father. "

Anthon now understood. Perhaps, she knew something about the marriage plan that Alex requested in his deathbed.But it seemed that something was not right. Just how much did she know?

Her next statement astounded him.

"And you think that what we did was sacred?  How about the one you did with my bestfriend? "

After it dawned on him that Jia must had thought that her bestfriend bore his child, he let out a gentle laugh.

"And because you think that I was the father of that baby in her womb,  you allowed my own child to be raised by another man,  and not his father himself? "

Jia froze. He already knew about it?
As the wind from the sea suddenly got fiercer,  and as the waves rolling by banged harder, she found herself helplessly breaking apart.



Marilyn Lucero

Edited: 28.08.2019

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