I Just Can't Say Goodbye

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My Life Is All Yours Now

"It's because his mom is very pretty."

He wrapped his arm into her waist and gazed at her face.  She gazed back at him and was later tempted to pinch his nose. She then traced a finger to map his face , and suddenly, her stares became empty.  She was lost in her thoughts again.

He  closed his eyes as she did this,   yielding to her touch and wishing deep inside that may this would not end.  Then, he softly  grabbed her hand and entwined it with his.

Dr. Grace was suddenly out of place! It felt like she did not exist in front of them. Dr. Jim was totally a different man from the distant and cold person whom she had known. She just couldn't believe her eyes!  Right before her,  she saw just how soft and romantic he was!  He was like a delicate candle who easily melted into the warmth of a woman's presence.

And  his eyes which tenderly looked at her were filled with so much love and admiration. How lucky was this woman!

She made her exit unnoticed and  felt so humiliated. How she wished it could be her! Her plans to get near him,  to get any special attention from him were all thwarted.  And,  now,  she appeared no less than an intruder.

If she would not succeed with him, then that woman he called his wife  would also not deserved to be happy!  She would definitely make her life a hell!

While in her car on the way back to the hospital, she called him up. This would be her first step... first step in ruining the happy days of his wife!

Alerted back to reality, he picked up the phone. As soon as he realized it was her,  he turned on the speaker again.

"Doc,  I'm sorry I left without telling you.  Anyway,  see you later."  Doc Grace's voice waved through the other line.

Jia turned to Jim after he hanged up. This time she was serious. "Why are you lying to her? "

He shrugged off his shoulders.
"Am I?"

"How do you call it? "She insisted.

"The day you came into my life is the day that I accepted you both as mine. So,  I did not lie."

She became silent this time. She reached her right hand  out to clasp it with his, her way of telling him she was grateful of everything he did. But what he said next, changed the romantic atmosphere they had been enjoying with.

"Between the two of us,  it is you who is lying." A glint of sadness hit his eyes.

"Jim,  please..." She could not take the guilt anymore. She had been tortured with it eversince she left to see Anthon. She could not bear to see him hurting like that. It just broke her heart!

"Jim, please,  you're killing me deep inside. Please,  stop it.."

Hot tears brimmed in her eyes. And when she saw that he remained cold,  still and sad,  her tears suddenly streamed uncontrollably down her face. Soon,  she quivered in her effort to stiffle down her sobs. She had been so sensitive lately and had cried river of tears!  

"Jim,  my life is all yours...I am all yours. Why don't you see that? "

"Your body is mine, your presence is mine but your heart is not." He grimly replied without looking at her.

"Nooooo...." her sob got louder.

"Mommy... " Jian rushed to her lap and hugged her. He then started to cry with her.

Seeing both of them crying,  his heart sank.  He, hurriedly,  picked Jian up into his lap and pulled Jia at the same time to his arms.

"Alright,  alright,  stop it. Our son is watching. "

Jia forced herself to stop her sobs. She  ruffled the hair of her son and kissed his forehead. She, then, smiled at him and, at the same time,  sniffled.

"Mommy is okay! " She said as she hugged him.

"Let's go." She stood up and hooked a hand to Jim's arm, pulling him to stand up.

All she wanted that moment was to go home right then and cry her heart out alone. She was too guilty and was  torn in between.

Jia droved Jim back to the hospital. His 24-hour duty would still end the next day. They were both silent, especially that Jian quickly felt asleep. As she pulled off in front of the ER,  Jim laid Jian carefully in the seat before he slid out. She thought he would ignore her and dash directly to the ER but he walked over to her and patted her head for a while.

She stared at him, trying to pry into the depths of his soul. She wanted to know what's deep inside and why he was too patient with her. Suddenly,  a grin broke into  Jim's face as he bent down to hug her.

"Stop looking at me like that or else,  I will be tempted to go home with you. "

Relieved a little, she smiled and hugged him back.

Marilyn Lucero

Edited: 28.08.2019

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