I Just Can't Say Goodbye

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The Maid Of Honor

Jia browsed into the catalogue while waiting for the seamstress who was attending first to Jim's fitting. The designs were all fantastic and breathtaking! From an off -shoulder cut to a halter -type bodice,  sexy cleavage design to backless top, fairy - tale cut to a trumpet silhoutte type...

When Jim was back,  he just lazily sat beside her and hooked an arm to her neck as he ran his eyes to the wedding wear photos.

"Jim,  can you please choose the design for me?" She was already having a headache at her first look into the designs.

"I love this." Jim pointed to the fit -and - flare  wedding dress that was fitted at the waist and then flared out at or below the hips. The flared skirt  would add a flirtatious vibe and was also  more comfortable in moving around.

"And I would suggest an off - shoulder design and a sweetheart neckline." He finished his suggestion with a seductive smile as he looked into her face.

When the seamstress called for Jian to be fitted,  they both laughed. A wave of joy and excitement filled their hearts as they both imagined how handsome would he look in his  wedding tux and black tie!

They chose Five Oaks Garden as the venue for the wedding. Nestled in a scenic rolls of green hills and plains,  the place  itself was magical. Giant trees, tailored grounds and  fairyland structures highlighted the whole place. Enhanced by a well-crafted landscape along the well-maintained river, the breathtaking scenery rendered the whole area a unique haven for romantic weddings and memorable events.

All of the major choices for the wedding set up and stuffs were all carried out that afternoon. The last step would be the guest list for the invitation cards.  Kuya Nap, the only brother and friend inside the groom's heart,  would be coming as his best man!

Jia thought about who would be her maid of honor. Jay and Giselle would surely be hurting and crying the moment she will be holding Jim in that velvet wedding aisle.

They need not be asked. Her bestfriends were both dreaming to have her walk that aisle with Anthon instead.

Jay,  who tried hard in her matchmaking tricks for both of them, would surely not be willing to accept.

Giselle, who ran away on her wedding day with Anthon and who came all the way from Singapore to do the task of explaining the dark secret behind their supposed wedding, would also surely not accept. She just did not want to pick up anyone!

Back at home,  she called up Giselle first. "Sel, I'm getting married. Please come and be my maid of honor. "

"Really?  Anthon never mentioned about it. We had just talked yesterday.. "

"Sel,  It's not Anthon..." And she began telling her the whole story.

"Gosh,  Jia! I know I have no right to interfere in your decisions and I have no right to suggest who should be your lucky man,  but I am so sorry. I am sure I will have a heart attack. I will not be able to endure seeing Anthon's son march in that aisle to give you and Jim your wedding ring! I just can not do that when I know that Anthon's heart is breaking!  I will be crying hard for him then... " Giselle's voice  now was quivering.

"I understand,  sel. I really understand." She softly said, having expected the outcome already.

"Jia,  I saw the pain when you cried at Gee's Cafe,  have you forgotten Anthon already?"

Jia did not reply. There was never a way to explain it to her now.

"Sel,  I would still want you to come on the 27th of July.. " She may had said it but deep inside,  she no longer expected.

She made another call. It was Jay this time. "Jia,  does Anthon know about this? "

"He already thought that I am long married to Jim already but does not know the whole story." Jia explained. 
She continued. "I went to see him, Jay,  to know myself...He wasted those miserable years that I had. And I realized,  he only existed in my mind.

"Jia,  you know it is not true.."

"Jay... "

"What more can I do?  I do not want to see you in that aisle without a maid of honor. But I will still be crying for Anthon.." She laughed but stiffling a sob at the same time.

"Send me your vital stats for the gown measurement then. "

Jia did not sleep well that night. She was bothered by her friend's reaction. She could neither deny that  Anthon would  surely be hurting.

But in life,  there are  limitations to our wants.There are always our unfulfilled desires. There are always broken dreams. And there are always struggles and pain.

Jay,  on the other hand,  could not shake off her heart the pain she harbored for Anthon. Just the other day,  he called her up,  asking for her contact details. But she could just not give any confidential matter without her permission.

She opened her messenger account and checked who was online. And there was Anthon!

"Jay, does she give you her number yet? " She suddenly felt a knife had cut her heart into half.

"I'm sorry,  Ton. She's not answering yet to my messages. But,  Ton,  I suggest that....you stop thinking about her. Forget and move on. Give yourself a chance to love someone else." Jay took her full courage with  quivering lips.

"What do you mean? "

Jay hesitated. She knew the truth would hurt. But it's better to have him hurting now than let him go on expecting for nothing.

"Jay,  she still loves me. I know it. I can feel it. She was real in my arms. She was yielding when we kissed."

" Perhaps, all I need now is to fully win her back. Our son needs both of us! "

"Ton,  stop it. Stop dreaming." She scolded him though her heart was bleeding.

No one knew better than her their love for each other. But no one was to be blamed! Not him nor Jia. Not Giselle nor Alex. Their decision were all based by their unintentional blindness to the truth.   This was just  fate and it's unfair moves...

Marilyn Lucero

Edited: 28.08.2019

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