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MOMENT 19: MAYHEM
Munke leaped forward and wrapped his herculean arms around me. I feared he would crush me to death in an instant, but instead, I received a gentle hug and a pat on the head, which made my antennae bounce.
"Um... aren't you going to kill me?" I asked.
"No. Of. Course. Not. My. Friend. It. Has. Been. Too. Long."
"Munke, let Mr. Magna go," Leeroy said. "We have business to speak of, buuuuddy!"
"Yes. Sir." Munke dropped me.
I fell onto my back end, landing in the gold coins and treasure. Jeremy and Fox-Face grabbed my arms and helped me up.
"Thanks for stopping him. I appreciate it!" I glared at each of them in turn.
"Look at the size of that guy!" Jeremy whispered. "He could kill us all if he wanted."
I punched Jeremy in the arm as hard as I could. He howled in pain as I glanced at Fox-Face, who shook her head.
"Punch me, and regret it," she said.
"I don't hit ladies, but still, help me next time!"
"Fine, you big baby," she murmured.
"Ahem, Buuuuddy!" Leeroy said. "You know that your friend turned me into a vampire, and well, ever since then I've had this thirst for blood."
"We won't become your meals!" I snapped.
"Buuuddy, Buuuddy, hold your horses!" Leeroy held his arms out wide. "I have found a cure for the vampiric thirst."
"And what's that?" Jeremy asked.
"Guacamole!" Munke said.
"Shut up, moron; that was my giveaway, not yours!" Leeroy barked.
"Sorry. Sir." Munke slumped his shoulders.
My face warped in confusion. "Are you seriously expecting me to believe guacamole is equivalent to blood?"
"Well, it makes sense," Jeremy said.
I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't make ANY sense."
"Believe it or not, Magna-Racha, it works. That is the only reason I didn't feast on all of you the moment the Mole Men brought you here."
"So, if we're not here to be your dinner, then...?" Fox-Face asked.
"Blooper and my Mole Men communicated to you, I offer you safe passage through my mine, to the river. Then the peril and hot Amazonians are for YOU to deal with."
"But WHY help us?" I asked.
"Because you're going to help me, Buuuuddy," Leroy sang. "Strange World is under siege by the Barn Brigade, and that little hairball Harry Butterbean is their commander."
"Under Pa-Burger, you mean?" I asked.
Leeroy shrugged. "The Barn Brigade took over my Big Top. My circus! My home! And they drove me out of Strange World and to live in this mine!"
"And you want it back, am I right?" I asked.
"Do you think I WANT to live in a mine surrounded by Mole Men, however friendly they may be?" he shouted, then looked at Blooper. "Sorry, Bloop, buuuuddy!"
"I completely understand, sir," Blooper said. "Can I take my leave?"
We turned and watched Blooper make his way down the treasure pile and out the way we came.
"What about all this treasure?" Jeremy asked. "Why'd you steal it all?"
"All of this?" Leeroy laughed. "It's junk, Buuuuddy. This stuff came with the territory. It seems more than one world has merged into one another in the past, but nothing like what's happening now."
"What do you want us to do exactly?" I asked vampire.
He leaned back into his throne and scratched his hairy chin. "Simple, really. I want you to go kill the cause of this worldly fusion and the Barn Brigade's incursion."
"Pa-Burger and the Monster of Mt. Arkhamm."
"Bingo, Buuuuddy!" Leeroy gave me a thumbs up. "You're the one who made the last wish on the Golden Box of Hope if the rumor is true."
"What's it to you?" I asked.
Leeroy shrugged again. "I also know your sister is at Mt. Arkhamm. So your eyes are set on that goal either way. You need to use the Golden Box AGAIN."
"Why does everyone want me to use the box?" I murmured.
"Because it needs to happen!" Leeroy slammed his fist causing us to jump.