The Change In Us

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Chapter Nineteen

I almost run to my apartment door when and then frantically unlock it. I slam it shut and then rest my back against it. This whole none problematic situation has just turn into a problematic situation. I stand against the the door with my eyes closed just to compose myself. 

"Are you finally going to tell us the truth now?" A voice suddenly asked, making my heart stop. 

I open my eyes to find Jennifer and James staring me from the couch they're sitting on.

"No, just mind your own business." I found myself saying, suddenly irritating with everything and them. Then I make my way to my bedroom and close the door behind me. Hoping that they both will take the hint and let me be.

That obviously isn't the case. They give me an hour or so before I hear a knock on my door. By now I've had the chance to cool down. 

"Come in." I said after taking a deep breath. 

When Jennifer sticks in her head a let out another breath. I know it's time to tell someone about what has been going on between me and my boss. 

"Hey, you feeling better?" She asked cautiously. 

I gave her quick smile. "Yes, I'm good. You can come in."

She steps in and makes her way to my bed. I'm currently sprawled on it in a pair of sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt.

"I brought you this." She holds up a tin of ice cream, that I only now see in her hands. "I know you don't like the mint flavors, but it's all we have at the moment." She apologized.

"It's fine, I'm starving." I said for the second time that morning. Then take the spoon that Jennifer holds out for me.

"So what have you been up to the last few weeks?" She asked. And I know I can't lie to her anymore.

I take a spoon of ice-cream and shove it in my mouth. With another sigh I start telling her the truth. 

When I'm done telling her about everything, she gets up and starts walking around my bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I asked looking at her actions confused. I shouldn't be. Because she gets a bit weird at times. 

She stops and looks at me. Then with a shake of her head starts pacing around my room again. I just take the tub of ice-cream and eat it. The mint and chocolate flavour tasting particularly good this morning.


The next afternoon my phone suddenly starts to ring after being silent since yesterday morning. Which I've painstakingly noticed. I've also noticed the hallowed feeling in my stomach since the very awkward, uncomfortable meeting with his family yesterday morning. I know things is about to change. And I feel like it's not going to end well for me. 

On the screen the caller ID shows A.A, which is the name I saved his number on my phone with. 

I take a deep breath and answer the call.

"Hey, you home?" He asked.

"Yes, why?" 

"I'm outside your apartment. Can I come up? Or do you want to come down." He asked quietly.

Jennifer and James are both out. The gang decided to go out and enjoy the last few warm days of the summer. I didn't feel like going and was once again dubbed the boring grandma of the group. 

"You can come up, I'll buzz you in." I said and then hang up the phone. 

"Hey." Austin said when he steps into the apartment.

I greet him back before telling him to take a seat on the couch.

"I have to leave the country tonight." Austin said looking dejected.

"You can end this, you know." I said quietly. "I won't be harbouring any hard feelings or anything."  I lied. 

He looks at me quietly then shake his head. "No, I don't want to end this." 

"Your family obviously doesn't approve of me. It doesn't really matter to me, but... But I  thought this would be uncomplicated. But guess what? It feels pretty complicated right now." I said and throw my hands up. 

I knew this wasn't the best thing to have with someone. But the last two weeks has been great. And I don't want it to end. 

"It's just that, my family has these views... On everything, but especially on my life, that is pretty daunting. They want me to live my life a certain way." He ended. Looking defeated.

"Yes, I got that. It was pretty loud and clear that they thought I could never be anything more than I fling to you. But we both knew that there wouldn't be anything more than what we are right now. So that can't be it Austin." I said, the hallow feeling suddenly making me want to cringe when it appears with my own words.

"That's just the thing. I normally don't try to get too involved with woman. But with you it's different. I don't know how to go a day without talking to you. I can't get you out of my head." He said looking down. "And I don't want this to be just a fling." He said making me take in a deep breath as my heart starts to flatter. Leaving me speechless.

He takes a steps closer to me and cups my cheeks with his hands. "Please tell me you don't want this to be just a fling either." He begged me.

I relieved sigh escapes me and I smile up at him. "No I don't want this to be just a fling either. 

"Good." He said and then gives me a deep kiss. He pushes one hand through my hair. Then grabs them with his fingers. "I need you." Then he pushes his body closer and I feel what he means. It ignites a fire in me. The fire intensifies when he removes his lips to place it on a sweet spot in my neck. And a moan escapes between my lips. 

Shaudene Oktober

Edited: 04.01.2019

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