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I thought that bottling everything inside of me was going to make things better; that everyone would be safer that way. But turns out, while trying to save everyone. I was slowly killing myself. The thought of being away from my family hurts more than I thought it would. I won’t get to hug my mom again. I won’t get to tell her ‘I love you’. My dad will never be able to drag me back home again. It’s not the possibility of my future that hurts but instead the future that my parents have to go through without me. But then I think of how I was never really there for them when they needed me and how it’s better if I just leave. So I pretend to shrug it off like it doesn’t matter. But it does.
I look at this ‘angel’ of death in front of me and I think of how miserable he must feel having to kill people all the time. He doesn’t have a halo above his head but come to think of it, he looks really peculiar. He looks like…. Darkness, but not the kind you would be afraid of ; more of the kind you wouldn’t mind getting lost in.
He breaks the silence and says ‘are you okay?’
I instinctively say ‘I’m fine’. that and my sense of sarcasm always made up for the times I couldn’t.
‘okay then. We have to get going. You have a list of things you messed up’
‘wait a minute. I have a question’
He looks at me like I just asked him if santa is real and then says ‘yes but hurry’
‘you said that I was going to hell. I know that I’ve fucked up quite a few times but nothing too bad. What did I do that was so bad ?’
‘it appears that your homosexuality would be the cause’
I actually cannot believe what he’s saying so I just say ‘excuse me tinkerbell, but I’m not gay’
‘what is tinkerbell?”
I’m actually shook right now ‘Are you seriously kidding me? You don’t know tinkerbell ? oh my god’
‘in case you’re forgetting mortal, I’m an angel and I am not aware of your terms’
‘stop with the formalities. We’re both dead or atleast I am and the last thing I could care about manners. Tinkerbell is a movie about a fairy and if you’re an angel where’s your halo?’ I say smirking.
He puts his hand up in defense and says ‘halos are for cowards. I would rather have light in me than on a stupid circle on my head’
I pretend to be indifferent but I’m actually amazed right now “you’re not too shabby for an angel of death. He just faintly smiles and I think.
I know why he’s the angel of death.