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A letter to Rivers
Hey Rivers, it's been long. I know you didn't want to talk to me or ever see me around again so I'm writing this letter to you instead. I know you hate me, I know how much you loathe me. You probably think I'm an immature, easily jealous kid. You probably think I'm a cheater, a loser or maybe even a jerk for dumping you just like that. And I don't blame you for it, cause you are not wrong.
I agree that I'm very much immature since I just left you without a single word or explanation. I went home crying that night whether you believe it or not and I was actually heart broken. I felt empty on the inside, a void that can never seem to be filled up no matter how hard I tried. I was thinking a lot after we broke up, I spent every free time I have thinking about you, thinking about us. I couldn't sleep at night knowing that I was a horrible boyfriend to you, especially for ending things that way. I know it shouldn't have and I have finally decided that you deserve an explanation for everything that I have done. I think you deserve to know what's going on in my life.
So, I tried reaching out to you but you pushed me away each time with no mercy and I don't blame you, I never will. This time, I'm writing a letter to you and this reminds me of how I always write little notes to you before every Saturday date night. I hope you will read this Rivers. It's important for you to know.
I'm sorry I have no guts to tell you this face to face when we were still together. It's just that every time I see that bright smile and cheerful look on your face, I can't bear to wipe it off with what I'm about to tell you. And I just took the liberty to break up with you, thinking that's the best solution. I know, it's very selfish of me to decide on our relationship when a relationship involves two people. But I'm moving away to Hong Kong with my family for a long time. It was a last minute notice from my dad and I didn't really know how to react. I was told to pack up everything and that we are moving in a week.
I was devastated of course, and I thought that having me so far away from you was a horrible idea. I can't be there for you when you need me when I'm halfway across the globe. But you need someone, everyone needs someone. And since that person can't be me, I thought it could be someone else.
When I saw you with Avan at the ice cream shop the other day, laughing and talking, I thought he was the one. I was mad at first but then again, he seemed like the perfect one for you, like a perfect replacement of me. Although, I still think that he's an Asian geek, he still seemed nice and genuine.
I didn't think you need me anymore and since I can't be beside you anymore, he shall be. I just thought that having you hate me would be better than having you still love me when I leave. Don't waste your time on me anymore. I'm sorry if this isn't the best idea but it's the best I could think of. I'm sorry if I made you cry. I'm sorry we have to end this way. I'm sorry for everything Rivers.
This letter is a mess and I'm a mess.
I'm not asking for forgiveness but if you need me, I'm only one call away. I wish you all the best Rivers, I never stopped loving you and I don't know if I ever will.
Hey guys! This a relatively shorter chapter but wow we finally get to see Ethan's pov and learnt why he had decided to break up with Bailey. Are you surprised or did you expect this? Let me know in the comments! I would love to hear from you! 😊❤️