The history of the healing

I’m going to the hospital

I packed up different sketchbooks and paper for drawing, watercolor, ink, pastel pencils, charcoal. I wanted to take also pastels but they crumbles, it's unsanitary. Pencils don’t crumble so much, and I decided to use the charcoal only outside the ward. We called a taxi with my mom. I was trying to get into the car for about 5 minutes, shut the door with the limping stick and was sitting half lying the whole way. I couldn't put any weight on my right buttock. There was not only a tumor there now, but also a scar from the biopsy.

I was lucky to get into a one-bed ward. There was its own toilet in each ward. There was a panic button nearby, but I couldn't reach it lying down and used a limping stick for that. They told me to have a PET CT scan and then they would know exactly where and to what extent I was affected, and then they would prescribe chemotherapy. I could do PET CT scan for free, but I had to wait 2-3 weeks, and it was too long. I had to do it very urgently, so I had to pay. I called to the other clinic and made an appointment in 3 days. It cost 80000 rubles (my salary at that time was 50000 rubles). My mom started calling relatives to collect money. She did. In the meantime, they put a catheter in my arm and started dripping some preliminary chemotherapy. It was amazing how quickly the tumor diminished enough for me to sit! I could eat at the table then like all normal people instead of lying.

Three days later I went for the PET CT scan. This procedure is similar to a regular MRI but longer. They inject you intravenously with some substance together with radiation, then you sit on a chair for half an hour, relax and drink water. This was ridiculously difficult for me to do because I had a catheter on one bend of my arm that I got at the hospital and the one that had just been put on the other. Neither my arm could bend properly nor it was easy to take a bottle of water. The further procedure was similar to an ordinary MRI with contrast.

The next day I received the result of the PET CT scan by email. It turned out that all my organs below the waist were affected on the right side and partially affected on the left side. The doctors prescribed me four courses of intensive chemotherapy. They said that my age (33) and the fact that no one had ever treated me before made them optimistic and allowed them to believe that I could withstand such treatment. From the beginning of one course to the beginning of the second it takes 21 days if there are no complications. Five days in a row of chemo, then the “funniest” thing is the withdrawal from chemo. Then they give 2-3 days to rest and start the next course.

They told me that they would put me a central catheter (in my neck), otherwise if the catheter was in my arm, they would destroy my veins. They took me to a special room, and I lay down on the couch. They gave me an anesthetic but it didn't help. It was very painful. The doctor was picking at my neck and trying to put in a catheter for almost an hour while I was screaming. He also yelled at me, not believing that I was in pain. I wanted to hit him on the head with a chair. He sewed the catheter to my skin so I wouldn't pull it out accidentally. To be fair, the doctors said that it had been a rare case where it hurt like that. Usually, it's quick and easy. It's just that my veins are thin and not very visible.

So, the first course of chemotherapy began.