The history of the healing

Adequate and inadequate messages

I realized that I was going bald soon and asked my brother to come to my hospital and shave me with a machine. I didn’t see any reason for hiding my disease. First of all, everyone would know anyway, and secondly, there was nothing to be ashamed of. I didn’t want to explain to everyone personally what happened to me, and I posted a picture of me with a dropper and my shaved head on social media. And there was a flurry of messages. They basically fell into two categories: sympathizers and do-gooders. The sympathizers wrote something like that: “Oh, that’s awful! I'm so sorry for you! Hold on! You're strong, you can stand it!” As if I had any choice but to hold on. I was aware of the fact that they hadn't faced a similar situation and just didn't know what to say, but they wanted to support me somehow. However, they only made me feel worse because I had already accepted the situation and set sights on recovery. And with such messages they just brought me back to the moment when I just had found out about my illness, and reminded me that I was in the awful situation. They brought down my positive attitude.

The most terrible people are do-gooders. A lot of people got suddenly so smart! They advised me on what remedies to take, what church to go to pray and to what saint, what I had to eat and what I didn’t have to, what medications to take. “My friend had the same pain, she took that medication, and it helped her! Take it, it will help you too!” Just imagine that I would tell the doctors that a friend of my friend took this medication, let me take it too. How can people talk such nonsense! What reason do they have to think they are smarter than experienced and qualified doctors? This was incredibly annoying.

Most of all I liked the messages in which people said without whining that everything would be fine, I just had to be patient and everything would get better.

2 messages were absolutely incredible. One of them was from my classmate: “I wish you to get well. My sister couldn’t.” I laughed so much when I read that! Of course, I was sorry for her sister, but how did it get into her head to write such a thing to a person who was just beginning to fight the disease?

Another my favourite message was the most adequate message the world had ever seen. “Hello. Do you need any help?” That’s all. No whining and stupid advice. It was from a friend who I rarely communicate with. She was the one who understood which words were the most suitable at that moment. Julia, if you are reading it, thank you very much for that! I wrote her that maybe I would need her help to bring me some medications. But her help was not needed.