The history of the healing

Everyday life

My strength was gradually recovering. I went to the toilet less often already. My dream came true: I could sleep 3 hours in a row at night! I took shower myself. My mother's constant care was no longer necessary, and she stayed at home more and more often.

Healthy hospital food seemed delicious at first but was already boring. I still can't eat steam cutlets although it's been 2 years. At home my mom cooked tasty food that I was allowed to eat, and brought to me. There were a fridge and a microwave in the corridor. My husband brought me a little electric kettle, and I made tea on the ward.

All the doctors and nurses were very professional, but everyone's character was different. I was lucky with the attending doctors: very nice women. But some of the nurses were too harsh. At first, I was angry, I felt sorry for myself: I was all so sick there, and they talked to me like that. Then I realized that they were people too, they could have a bad mood. And it was a good thing that they didn’t care about me too much as about a porcelain doll. I was just a part of their job. It also helped me not to treat my illness as a disaster but to see it only as a temporary difficulty that would soon pass away. And that nurse, who had just been rude to me, was also a temporary difficulty. The next day she would have a day off, and another nurse would come.

I began to draw sketches with watercolor using my photos. Once I asked my husband to bring me frames of a certain size. I put sketches in those frames and decided to walk around the wards to give my sketches to other patients. I hoped they would cheer them up. I was struck with what I saw in the other wards. Almost all the patients were lying with the mournful faces and doing nothing. No books, no TV, no music. They just were lying sad there. I with my mother went into the ward (I was embarrassed to do it myself), she explained the situation, and we saw how a person's face brightened right in front of our eyes and a smile appeared. I was very pleased. At that moment I realized what the people meant writing to me that I was strong. Probably, this is the strength – to stay positive at such a moment.

I liked bright multicolored socks very much. I asked my husband to bring me all of them that I had at home, and to buy if he saw them in a shop. That was one more way to cheer myself up. I gave my clothes to my mother for washing.

In my free time, I cross stitched, played games on my phone. I bought an online drawing course. I watched only funny movies and series. At home I enjoyed movies and series about all kind of vampires and werewolves, but now they were not suitable. They were not positive enough. I read many genres of books depending on my mood, but at that moment I wanted to read classic books. As soon as I got sad, something immediately started to hurt. And I straight away distracted myself by one of the ways that I described earlier.

Once a week the orderly brought clean bed cloth and told me to change it. When my mother came back home to live, I had to do it myself. The process dragged along for almost an hour, and several times I sat down to rest on the couch. I used to fold half of the sheet and sit to rest. Then the other half. The hardest part was the duvet cover. At home I tucked the duvet in two corners, shook the duvet cover, and the other two corners straightened out by themselves. Now I didn't have strength to shake the duvet cover. Besides, the drip wires were in the way. It is amazing that such a common process as making the bed took an entire paragraph. But it was really hard.

Once I asked my husband to bring me a cute souvenir. He did exactly in his own style: he brought a toy tractor. He said that he rode on such a tractor when he was a kid, and that this toy would remind me of him. He was right. No one but him could be so romantic to bring a tractor. It stood on the bedside table and it put in a good mood not only me but also everyone to whom I told the story of its origin.