The love letter you will never read

The love letter you will never read

Hello, my dear!

It's been almost 2 years since we met. I could have written this message in Russian, but I do it in English. I don’t know why sometimes it is so much easier to express my thoughts in this language. Maybe because I got used to talking to you in my thoughts this way. I know we hardly talk now but every time we do, it makes me so happy... cause I still love you so much but you will never find it out cause I won’t let you know. Our friendship means too much to me so I cannot ruin it.

You know, I remember everything. The first time we met. I saw you in the classroom, you were so happy, friendly, so beautiful. I was so afraid not to fit in but you were there inviting me to go to the party. I remember how you forgot my name at the bowling and how ashamed you were and I know you still are. How we spent the rest of the night going from one club to another sometimes in different companies. I remember how we spent time at your or my place just studying and fooling around, how you were helping me to prepare for my exam reading the texts with British accent and how I then was helping you to prepare for your exam. I remember how I told you that I loved you. Do you remember that night? It was righ after the winter ball, we were just leaving, you were waiting for the others, I was going home already when our friend encouraged me to talk to you. And I did. I felt so embarrassed and you didn’t reply, you though I meant that I loved you as a friend. I cried all night after that. The next morning I got your letter with apologies and beautiful words about how much you appreciate me and what an awesome person and friend I am. I accepted it and never raised that topic again. We started spending more time together, watching movies, cuddling. I cherished these moments cause that’s all I could and can ever have. I remember meeting the girl you liked, how I hated her though she was dating another guy. I remember how we were walking home after the party and you got cold and I made you stay at my place cause it was closer and I was afraid that you would get ill. You were so shy than and fell asleep really fast and for a little bit I was just watching you sleep then you hugged me and I found my little heaven. I remember sitting in the plane and reading your goodbuy letter to me cause you didn't want me to open it before I left the city. I read it every time I feel sad.

I’m sorry for the feelings I cannot fight. You know I hope that one day I will meet someone at least a little bit as great as you, someone who will love me back. This is my love letter to you, the one you will never read.
Forever yours,
your best friend